he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
