she kept yelling 'call me bella'
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
