I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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