How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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