I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
