found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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