I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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