We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
