We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Enjoy the penises
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
