how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
