i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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