he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
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She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
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Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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