and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
