I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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