paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
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I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
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In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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