you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
