the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
