at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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