you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I have fence marks all over my body
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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