hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
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All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
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I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.