i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
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according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...