My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I want to fling myself into the sun
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon