maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
