He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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