Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
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