dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
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