i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
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I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
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I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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