Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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