You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
