we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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