Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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