are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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