Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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