Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
