hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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