why do cheetos always look like penises
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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