FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
