don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Boobs are out for the taking
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
