ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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