And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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