he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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