yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
