how hairy? two words: wookie tits
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
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