I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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