i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
