Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
this is an emotional support booty call
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
