I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
