you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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