Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
