Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Moan for me like Helen Keller
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Randomize
