At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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