I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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