I need help removing her.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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