shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
