no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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