It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
