I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Terrible idea I love it
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize