My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I am in a vortex of obligation.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Drunk is not a location!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
