Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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