I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
