Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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