Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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