She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I see more hoeing in ur future
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