i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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