On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
