shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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