i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I wish you could order shots online.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
