Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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