At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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