I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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