just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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