i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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