Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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