reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize